


The Sozzled Libertine

by niblick_iii



Category: New Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-21
Updated: 2010-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-29 14:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niblick_iii/pseuds/niblick_iii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony gets drunk. And then talks to the President. Steve intervenes before treasonable offences can occur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sozzled Libertine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Steve and Tony (Almost) Make a Porno](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7390) by [ballpoint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballpoint/pseuds/ballpoint). 



> You know when you get an idea for fic at 3am, and you can't sleep until you write it down? This is one of them.
> 
> The line "You're such a sozzled libertine, Stark." started a twitter conversation in which it was decided that if anyone would see being called a sozzled libertine as a badge of honour, it would be Tony.
> 
> Warnings:  
> 3am-ness and a mish-mash of movie and comic canon. Don't expect it to fit into any kind of continuity. In fact, for the sake of sanity: This occurs in an AU where all the events of this fic are true. Yes, that's it. It's AU.  
> And it may or may not be a sort of crossover with The West Wing. I haven't decided. But it could be. I inexplicably had President Bartlet in my head when I was writing the President.

It was a black tie affair. Well, it would be, what with The President honouring the New Avengers and all. In fact, the President himself had just finished making, by his standards at least, a short speech and was making the rounds, shaking hands and talking to people. Steve looked up and noticed that the President was moving towards Tony, and… Steve’s stomach dropped; even from here he could see that Tony was swaying ever so slightly, a sure sign that he had had too much to drink. Steve wasn’t sure anyone else had noticed, but enhanced vision and, well, he wasn’t going to call it an obsession, but a… healthy interest in the subject made it obvious to him. Pepper certainly hadn’t noticed, otherwise she would have made sure he didn’t get to talk to anyone important. Unusual, actually, that she should be so inattentive, but then Steve spotted her in the corner talking to some guy; apparently he was a singer in a band or something. He looked back at Tony to see him hold out his hand to the President. Steve was too far away to hear what they were saying so he moved closer in time to hear:

“Tony Stark, sozzled libertine at your service,”

“Yes, Mr Stark,” said the President, wryly, shaking Tony’s hand. “I know who you are.”

“Who doesn’t?” Tony said, smugly.

“Ah Tony, there you are,” Steve said, arriving just in time. “Excise me, Mr President, but I need to speak to Mr Stark about an urgent matter of business.”

The President merely smiled and waved them away as Tony threw a companionable are around Steve’s shoulders and allowed himself to be steered towards a quiet corner of the room.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Tony?” Steve whispered angrily as soon as they were out of earshot. “What possessed you to talk to the President like that?”

“Peter bet me,” Tony grinned, waving his arm and nearly taking out a passing waiter.

Steve groaned inwardly; if Tony was that out of control of his movements, he was more drunk than he had thought. Just then, Tony’s words processed.

“Peter _bet_ you? He what?!”

“He bet me that I wouldn’t introduce myself to the President as a sozzled libertine,” Tony said, as if this were obvious.

“Oh, God.”

Steve took Tony’s arm and marched him towards the incredibly worried looking photographer, who was trying unsuccessfully to hide behind a potted plant.

“Peter, did you bet Tony?”

“Did I what?” said the plant.

“Did you bet Tony that he wouldn’t say something stupid to the President. And come out from behind the plant, I’m not going to hit you. In public,” he added in an undertone.

Peter stepped around the pit, sheepishly pulling a leaf from his hair.

“I swear, Cap, I didn’t bet Tony anything.”

“Don’t try and wriggle out of paying up,” Tony said, affronted, waving his finger under Peter’s nose. “You bet me that I wouldn’t tell the President I was a sozzled libertine.”

Peter groaned.

“Care to explain?” Steve asked.

“Ok,” Peter said, resigned, “but I swear I didn’t bet him anything.”

* * *

 

_Twenty minutes earlier_

“Peter, Peter, Pete, Petey, Pete,” said Tony, pulling the younger man into a one armed hug. “Life is good isn’t it.”

“You’re drunk.”

“ _You’re_ drunk.”

“I’m not the one the papers are calling a sozzled libertine,” Peter replied.

“A sozz...” Tony burst out laughing. “That’s brilliant. I’m going to have to introduce myself to everyone as that tonight.”

“Tony, you can’t, the President,” Peter started to say.

“Yes, you’re right, the President! I take that bet,” Tony declared. “You’re on.”

And he wandered off in the direction of the President.

* * *

 

“And you didn’t try to stop him?” Steve demanded.

“I didn’t think he’d actually _do_ it.”

“This is _Tony_ , Peter. _Always_ expect that he’ll do it.”

“Steve, are you gay?” Tony asked, cutting in.

“Am I what?”

“Are you gay? Because your costume, that’s _really_ gay. And you have little wings. On your head. Little wings…” he trailed off, raising his hands to the sides of his head, waggling his fingers to demonstrate.

Steve frowned, Tony’s swaying was worse now and his speech was starting to slur. A thought hit him.

“Tony, did you take any painkillers before you came out?”

“Yup,” Tony replied, happily. “Got a bruised rib being thrown across Central Park by that giant killer bunny rabbit.”

Steve groaned, “And you’ve been drinking? Right, that’s it, I’m taking you home. Peter, tell Pepper where we’ve gone.”

He glanced over to where she was still talking to the guy, Chris something his name was. He guided Tony, who by now was leaning heavily on Steve, his steps unsteady, out of the room and to the car. Once they were safely inside, Tony turned to him.

“You never answered my question.”

“Question?”

“Yeah. Do you like boys?” Without giving him time to answer, Tony added, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, it can be our little secret.” He tried to tap the side of his nose and missed, nearly poking himself in the eye. “ _I_ like boys,” he continued. “Sometimes. I like you.” And with that, he promptly passed out, head lolling onto Steve’s shoulder, snoring gently.


End file.
